Structuring a Scene

// July 28th, 2011 // Comments Off // BDSM Articles // BDSM Articles

The mention of  ritual in Dungeon play, or what is commonly referred to as “the scene” set me to thinking.   Consider that the word scene, “scenario”, denotes a very structured activity.  A scene is like a chapter in a book.  It is a  critical part of a whole story, one step of a journey from initiation to conclusion.  As a species, it has been said that with no compulsion to do anything else, we would prefer to spend most of our time absorbed in stories.   For the reasons why stories are so compelling, one is referred elsewhere, but for now, let us look at how structuring a scene one way rather than another may result in a radically enhanced experience for the players.

A while ago we talked about the expectations that might be set for a party.  Now let’s  look at one of the scenes that might occur at that party in a similar way.  What expectations to the participants bring to it?  Let’s imagine the case of a submissive woman and her non-playing but supportive partner.   She wants to be tied and flogged while her partner watches, so she can escape into a private fantasy which she knows will bring her to an ecstatic climax.  For the time being, her partner must become an actor,  must be able to sustain the fantasy that is being projected upon them. An amateur theatre production might for example thrust a man upon the stage with a black eye-patch, a stuffed parrot in one hand and a wooden cutlass in the other.  The sound system scratches out a non-descript shanty and someone chucks a bucket of water over the set.  Wanting to believe in the story being told, the audience settles back to await a rousing tale of swashbuckling and kidnapped maidens.  Incidentally, directors know how important the kidnapped maiden bit is.  But I digress!

This woman’s partner may be required to be a cold observer of her humiliation or a helpless wretch unable to save her from her plight.  Her fantasy is her own story, and the others in the scene are her supporting cast   We enter into the realm of participatory ritual theatre.  Our task is easier than it is for the Mummers or the presenters of Passion Plays.  Easier even than for those engaging in demonstrations of  dungeon techniques for an audience, since we have only to create the experience for ourselves and not be concerned with the communication of  the experience.

Starting with the conclusion and working backwards we know that we want the submissive to achieve her earth-shattering orgasm.  She may wish it to occur within a particular  physical and psychological context, such as betrayal by her loved one at the height of her physical pain.  Thus the scene will end with her partner passionately embracing another woman just about the time she reaches the limit of her tolerance for the flogging.  The flogger then, will be going for overload and stress, rather than an endorphin high.  The position assumed for the flogging will also be such that the subject will be able to get herself off.  A rolled towel between her legs, perhaps enhanced with the insertion of a butt plug,  can provide sufficient stimulation, if she has freedom to wriggle.

Now we come to the “why” of the story.  How has she ended up in this predicament in the first place?  If her story tells that she came blindfolded, naked under her dress, the toy already filling her bottom, then that is how the evening should start.   But we still don’t know  the “why” of it.  Perhaps she has been a silly, frivolous girl, always whining for more, unappreciative of what she already has.  In order to punish her she has been brought to the dungeon where her humiliation will be witnessed by amused strangers.  Now we have the key to the rest of the scene.  There must be an entrance, an air of formality and inevitability about the proceedings.  In the spirit of consensual non-consensuality  she must be able to believe that she has no choice other than to go along with what is to be done to her, and to create the necessary level of excitement, she must be afraid of what is going to happen.  Her expectation that she will be taken beyond her limits must be fulfilled, although it is important to point out here that we are talking about perceived limits, not real limits, for it is in the unexplored territory between where the true essence of dungeon play is found.  To go beyond a real limit is senseless brutality and does nothing but damage both the top and the bottom physically, mentally or both.

With the broad structure in place there are many details of costuming, props, narrative and environment that support that structure.  Next we will get into the details that work on the human psyche to develop and enhance fantasy.  Think about all the ways that folk have devised to ritualize their lives from the Goth scene to conservative Catholicism.

Until the next time,

May all your black clothes make it back from the cleaners,

SB.

Reprinted with permission from Wasteland.Com

The Good Bitch

// July 12th, 2011 // Comments Off // Featured // Featured

I LOVE this trailer!  I was surfing around Inside Wasteland checking out all their great offerings when this trailer caught my eye.  I’ve never seen a porn trailer look like a mainstream trailer, except for Succubus, which is also a Wasteland production. Anyway, check it out,  I thought it kicked ass and wanted to share.

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The Safety Top Ten

// June 29th, 2011 // Comments Off // BDSM Articles // BDSM Articles

There is a widespread myth around on the Internet. One that you will often hear in erotic power exchange oriented discussion and newsgroups and on chatboxes. The credo is: “there are no SOPs in BDSM” (SOP = Standard Operating Procedures). That’s not only untrue, it’s also a very dangerous statement. Especially when it comes to safety and safe sex, there are such SOPs. Many in fact and they’re there to protect your health and physical and emotional safety.

Apart from the Top 10 below there are a few other things to discuss here. One is the assumption that the erotic power exchange world is one rosy-tinted, wonderful, understanding, loving and caring community. That is not true, especially not on the Internet. The world is full of idiots and dangerous people and the erotic power exchange community is no exception to that rule – neither in a positive nor in a negative way. Like in any other groups, idiots and dangerous people are everywhere.

Of course it’s wonderful when you discover your own emotions and it’s great, super, awesome or whatever that you can relate to others that share these same emotions and that as such can be an overwhelming experience.. But that’s no reason to suddenly drop all your natural safety shields, put your brain on the shelf and jump in feet first.

There’s no way you can tell for sure that someone, who seems to be so wonderful in a chatroom or on a discussion list, in real life is so wonderful as well and – unfortunately – there are quite a few reports about first dates between people that had met on the Internet, that turned into absolute disaster, either emotionally, or physically, or both. Sometimes it’s just a matter of someone telling a few white lies about his/her looks and over-emphasizing his or her positive points while conveniently hiding the less positive habits. But there are also reports about rape, physical injury and – recently – clever fraud schemes.

Although there is no reason to be dramatic about this and we’re certainly not here to create more cases of paranoia, it’s only wise to be “en guarde” especially when it comes to first and second real life meetings. And it’s also not a matter of “bad dominants/tops” only. Of course there are doms/tops around with the wrong intentions. There are however just as many reports about submissives/bottoms who turned out to be outright criminals or serious psychiatric cases who needed treatment and help – and certainly not erotic power exchange.

All this is not limited to the Internet. People with long-lasting party and support group experience will tell you that the credo “never ever have a first meeting in your home” has been around for ages and for very good reasons. People are easily lured into something they do not want to do when they’re vulnerable and talking about or dealing with intimate and very personal emotions like erotic power exchange and sexuality.
So, the bottom line is: be safety-aware and take safety serious. For your own good.

1. In your dreams and fantasies anything is possible. Doing this in reality may be quite something different. DO slow down on your fantasies. Take it one step at the time and only add things and ideas if you feel up to it. DON’T confront your partner with an exact scheme of what you think is supposed to happen. Share ideas and dreams but leave enough space for each other to fill in whatever it is you like.

2. DO establish safewords or other signals. If for whatever reason you don’t want to use safewords, then be sure to tell your partner about this and agree on this mutually. DON’T disrespect or ignore someone’s safewords.

3. DO communicate with each other about both fantasies and barriers. DON’T withhold valuable information. “I don’t like this or that” is also valuable information. If you don’t tell your partner, how is he or she supposed to know?

4. DO try and be as clear about the signals you send out as you can, even when “in scene.” DON’T expect your partner to be clairvoyant. (Tops/doms are not really mind readers…they just seem to be).

5. DO buy quality toys and gear. Or learn how to make quality gear for yourself – the key ingredient is quality, learn all you can about what makes each item high-quality. DO make a habit of testing locks, rings, hooks and suspension gear every time before you use them. Be sure you know the difference between static and shock ratings on ropes and chains if you want to use suspension techniques (we’ll add a section on bondage and suspension tips later). DON’T go for cheap toys, you may seem to save money, but in fact you will get into trouble.

6. DON’T overestimate yourself. Getting a hundred lashes in your dreams is not quite the same as ten “live” ones. Never promise, or threaten with, things you’re not yet certain about for yourself. DO get inspired by what other people do but DON’T think “oh, i can do this or that” without making sure you can. It’s ok to tell others in the scene that there are things you don’t know about or haven’t tried – it often leads to some wonderful “learning experiences.”

7. DO concentrate on the game and on your partner. For one thing, doing things with focus and intent will intensify the experience for both of you. For another, accidents usually happen because you’re distracted. Pay attention and you’ll both have a much better time!

8. Alcohol, drugs or poppers can make a scene unsafe. They will suppress your pain-sensation and can easily pump up your level of general acceptance beyond your control. When in scene your body produces endorphins (a natural opiate) and adrenaline. Artificial stimuli will only interfere with or act to strengthen these things – but perhaps not in the ways you’d expect. Better to learn to use your body’s own chemical reactions. If you choose to ignore this advice be sure you and your partner(s) are aware of what you’re using and that they still agree to play anyway.

9. DO tell each other about physical, mental or medical problems, recent medical treatment and possible medication, if you are taking any.

10. DO be prepared for intense emotions and fierce reactions but DON’T let all this scare you away from all the fun, intense love and great sensations an erotic power exchange scene can bring about.

Copyright © 2011 Wasteland.Com • All International Rights Reserved  You may not distribute or reprint this article, in whole or in part, without express permission from Wasteland.Com

The Amazing Virtual BDSM Sex Game!

// June 14th, 2011 // Comments Off // Featured // Featured

Welcome to the dark side of video games and the Virtual Web. From the creators of the original BDSM site online comes the Wasteland3D BDSM Virtual Sex Game. Bondage maidens, tough toys, all as vivid 3D models with rough play sessions optimized for video game sex are yours to master. Dominate or submit. You can do what ever you want to Wasteland3D game characters, fully uncensored and they will obey. Click on the picture below to see actual game footage from one of our players.

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Create your players’ looks, from hair, eye color, makeup, tats and body art to full scale leather gear, restraints and other elements needed to play the game and experience it on a painfully realistic level. How big a strap should they wear? How tight should the harness be? Play here and you are in control of our dungeons!

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