This is my story. My husband and I run a private business. It is an Internet based operation that we run from our home. It is quite a demanding job, sometimes a bit stressful. And I am – or should I say was – a coffee-addict. A year ago I would drink 12 to 15 cups of coffee a day. Black and strong. No milk, just sugar. That was until the day my husband – who is also my 24/7 master – told me coffee for me would be a no go and that, if I really needed it, it would have to be “French coffee”.

This means drinking coffee now is a very humiliating protocol for me

It goes like this. If a really, really, really want coffee I will first of all have to beg for it. Next, when it suits him, I will have to kneel down and give master a really good blowjob.

And that is not just a “suck and swallow” quickly. No, he wants the works.

I must kiss, lick and suck until he is completely satisfied and ready to cum. If he does I must of course catch the sperm in my mouth, but I am not allowed to swallow it.

Master is a hard man to please and he has taught me well. So this part of the ritual is very likely to take quite some time. Usually something in between 30 minutes and an hour.

Only now master will pour me a cup of coffee. I will next have to empty my mouth in my cup, thus mixing the sperm with the coffee. This I have to do in front of him, still kneeling, so he can enjoy the scene. I can assure you, this is probably the most humiliating part of the process.

I’m sure you get the point by now. What is inside the cup after this is what master has baptized “French coffee”. I have to drink it of course.

This is the only coffee I am allowed to drink. And what is worse, this ritual allows for very clever embarrassment.

For example, whenever we visit others and people offer me coffee I have to say that only drink “French coffee”. When they ask for an explanation I will give them some story about a very special European brand or a very special blending, both of course unavailable in the United States.

And all I can do is hope that there is not another master somewhere who came up with the same idea….

Condoms

Always use a condom when penetrating, either vaginal or anal. Using condoms when having oral sex is generally advised (you can buy mint or menthol flavoured condoms for this purpose).

This may sound silly, but if you have never bought condoms before, please avoid the vending machines in discotheques, bars, etc. The problem is that you never know how old the condoms are when you buy them. A condom with an expired maximum vending date is unsafe to use, because the latex deteriorates over time.

Do use condoms when penetrating with vibrators, dildos or other toys. When in scene, it is very possible your toys will lay about and attract dust and germs. Using condoms on your toys will keep them in a better condition as well and makes them easier to clean afterwards.

Some people have allergic reactions to the lubricant that is standard on most condoms. If you are not sure, buy non-lubricated condoms with a separate, water-based lubricant.

Dental Dams

It’s a must to use dental dams when rimming (licking the outside anal area) and it’s generally advised for oral-vaginal contact. Outside the USA, dental dams are sometimes hard to get. Contact a center for information about sexually transmitted diseases for addresses.

Latex Gloves

Latex gloves will protect your and your partner from all sorts of things. When penetrating either the vagina or anus, wear gloves. Especially when you’re fisting (including vaginal fisting).

Lubricant

Lubricant makes it easier to penetrate, both vaginal and anal. Buy only water-based lubricants. Oil-based lubricants will ruin your condoms and other latex protective gear in seconds (this goes for your valuable latex clothing as well!). Be aware of the fact that massage oil, baby oil and butter will have the same effect on latex.

Some lubricants contain nonoxynol-9. Some people have allergic reactions to this. If you want to be on the safe side, buy a lubricant without it. On the other hand, nonoxynol-9 makes it a lot more difficult for the HIV virus to survive. If you and your partner(s) are not allergic then it’s worth using.

HIV Risks

All the general stuff about HIV infection (direct blood and sperm contact) of course goes for erotic power exchange as well. Take extra precautions when you are whipping and (accidentally) draw blood or when you are into needle play or cutting. Nipple clamps sometimes may cause bleeding of the nipples, women may experience this more while having a period. Intense stimulation of the nipples – clamps, binding and piercing(!!) – may incidentally cause a woman’s nipple to lactate slightly. Even some men will start to produce small amounts of lactate. Lactate may very well contain the HIV virus. 

Extra precautions should, of course, be taken if you are into some edge play situations.

Mistress Alyssah Simone has trained her little slave Trisha Uptown for many months and the payoff of all that effort is obvious. There are no screams or complaints uttered by Trisha as she is forced to act as a foot stool, or penetrated with dildos shoved in both her mouth and her cunt… or even as she is fucked by her strapon wearing Mistress and given electric shocks. You just have to take one look at the smile on Mistress Alyssah’s face as she gets Trisha to give her strapon dildo a blowjob, to see how very proud she is of her pet! And she has every reason to be proud of Trisha and the progress that they have made together… it is every sub’s dream to be as obedient as Trisha is to her Mistress and as loved as she is by her Mistress.

Beautiful Mistress Alyssah Simone dominates  her slave, Trisha Uptown, in ways that will leave viewers with a hunger. Pleasing one’s Mistress is every slave’s greatest goal in their low and unworthy life and Trisha Uptown does just that even if it means holding a dildo in her mouth so that her latex clad Mistress can use her face as a living fucking machine!  Though humiliated and tortured, Trisha is quick to do whatsoever her Mistress asks of her. Check out Wasteland for the whole experience of this great lesbian domination duo!

It is of course next to impossible to provide exact definitions for any relationship, since relationships revolve around individual people, individual needs and individual circumstances.

Having said that, TPE relationships do have certain common denominators.

* First of all, in a TPE relationship the slave is subdued (as opposed to submissive in all other forms of BDSM-based relationships). The slave is considered to be the property of the dominant and as such will find her place among the dominants’ other properties: the house, the pets, the furniture, etcetera.

* Another common denominator is in the word total. Just as one cannot be “a bit pregnant” or only caucasian on Wednesdays and Fridays, the owner/slave relationship is permanent, all-encompassing, non-negotiable and final.

* The third important common denominator is in the decision making. The slave has had the option to either enter or not enter the TPE relationship. After that she has one decision left, which is to leave the entire relationship (something that over time may become increasingly difficult). Other than that, all decisions are left to the owner who, usually for practical reasons, will either temporarily or permanently delegate certain decisions to the slave. This is usually determined by the practicalities of every day life.

Isn’t TPE the same as a 24/7 BDSM relationship?

No, there are very fundamental differences. A 24/7 BDSM relationship is a relationship where BDSM plays a role most of the time, maybe even all the time and within pre-negotiated boundaries. In a TPE relationship the power dynamics are at the very root of the relationship as well as a prerequisite for the relationship. Even if TPE partners do not live together, their relationship is based on the principle that in ALL matters (unless specifically EXcluded) the dominant partner has the final say.

Does TPE mean the Dominant has a final say in everything?

TPE means the Dominant CAN have the final say in everything. That does not necessarily mean he will always and in anything exercise this. Usually what it comes down to is that the submissive will make decisions in the spirit of the Dominant (in other words she will do as he will expect her to do).
In a TPE-relationship the concept of negotiation (as opposed to all other BDSM-based relationships) does not exist. In most TPE relationships the slave will have the option to propose certain things, but whether or not such proposals will be followed is entirely up to the owner.

Doesn’t the submissive make any decisions at all?

Yes, she has made one: to be a slave. That is where the decision making started and ended. Some TPE-couples, for practical reasons, may exclude specific areas, such as custody over children, the submissive’s work, etcetera. In every day life a TPE submissive will of course make decisions, but always in the sense that she will do what the Dominant partner expects her to do (or would expect her to do).

What about safe, sane and consensual?

A choice to enter into TPE is not made overnight, but usually after a long and careful process which – in general – takes quite some time. That goes for both partners of course. That choice is usually made after a long – and quite often difficult – process of thought, communication and real life experiences. As such, that choice is probably one of the most well thought out decisions in the BDSM-community, hence very sane and consensual. And of course TPE partners are just as safety aware as any other responsible BDSM couple. However, once that decision is made, things change dramatically in the sense that such concepts as safewords or negotiation will cease to exist.

TPE couples sometimes – especially in the early stages of the relationship – will incorporate such things as “trial periods”, which allow for testing and building practical experience.

Yes, but what about the rights of the sub and her well being?

TPE dominants are among the most responsible people in the BDSM-community. Since they are very aware of the gravity of their specific relationship (and the potential risks and dangers), they are probably more consciously aware of the well being of their slave. Besides, what’s the point in doing any damage to the one you love? In a TPE relationship the slave can of course bring up her own ideas and preferences. Whether or not these will be implemented however, is the sole decision of the Dominant partner.

A TPE slave is usually responsible for the well being of the dominants’ property and that includes the slave him/herself. Hence the slave will be required to provide the owner with any and all information that relates to her health, well being and physical and emotional safety. Again, the way in which such information is being dealt with is entirely up to the owner. In other words: the slave will feed the owner with information, the owner will provide solutions, decisions and measures. This situation is best compared to a work environment: employees provide information (regardless their position), the buck however stops at the boss’ desk.

Does the dominant decide about what she wears and eats?

If you mean the micro management type of decisions such as worrying every morning about what she wears, the answer is no. TPE is NOT about micro management. On a more general level however, the TPE dominant will provide a set of guidelines that will form a point of reference for his submissive partner.

To provide a few examples: the TPE owner will usually want his property to maintain a healthy diet (and may set general guidelines in that area), but will not worry over the number of sandwiches or whether these are peanut butter and jelly or ham and cheese. Most TPE owners will set general guidelines about the slave’s presentation, but instead of – for example – setting a rule about what clothes she should wear, garments that are not to the owner’s liking will simply not be available.

What is the objective of a Total Power Exchange Relationship?

Total Power Exchange does have only one objective. That is to create a situation where there is little or no way back for the submissive partner, or at least not without severe – social, economical and of course emotional – consequences. In other words, create a situation that comes as close to real slavery as realistically possible. As a result, the slave in a TPE situation loses much if not all control over his or her own life, but that is NOT a goal as such, it is a result of trying to achieve the objective. De facto the slave is just as “locked in” as the dominant partner is. Although the dominant may seem to be the one in total control, no sane and caring human being will leave the partner he or she has joined in such an amazing journey totally helpless and walk away.

Is there a legal basis (contract) for TPE?

One of the most frequently asked questions – and THE topic of discussions on TPE – is whether or not the slave can be legally locked in. The answer is no, but – depending on the country you are in – there are legal/economical constructions that come very close. But again, this is not the objective and neither the owner or the slave in a real TPE relationship will feel the need to even try and do that.
Contracts or usually not an issue for Total Power Exchange couples since they feel they do not need one, and actually the situation usually does not require one either. Some TPE couples use contracts as points of reference for evaluation.

Isn’t TPE dangerous to the slave?

The first and foremost thing to remember is that once a TPE situation is in place (a process that in itself will often take many years) there is indeed no way back and the slave is very likely to loose control over assets, income, belongings and in general over her life. As much as they may be appealing to some, this is something to be very aware of BEFORE entering into anything that comes remotely close to a Total Power Exchange situation. So yes, there is a fair amount of danger to those, that jump into a TPE situation feet first.

The other important thing to consider is that there will eventually be a situation where the slave loses alternatives and that the owner increasingly gains a position where he or she can ask anything and getting out is not or hardly an option. It is only wise to consider the possibility that this opens the door to possible (power) abuse and that a TPE situation should be avoided at all times if there is even the slightest doubt about the motivation of either of the partners involved. Unresolved traumas, low self esteem and self confidence, the inability to make independent decisions before entering into TPE, oversized egos and an over concentration on control issues are all warning signals that should make it clear that the partner(s) are NOT fit for a TPE-situation.

Isn’t it all just a fantasy?

To many, yes it is and a full TPE situation is something that can only be accomplished after many, many years at best and – as said – predominantly is a journey that is taken step by careful step by couples that have entered into it.
TPE is one of the most discussed (and fantasized about) items in the BDSM-community, especially on the Internet. A TPE-relationship is real life and a though road. Online relationships by definition cannot be TPE, neither can any relationship where there is (even only one) but, if or possibility for negotiation.

Is it wise to use mentors when entering into TPE?

Absolutely and preferable a mentor couple with TPE-experience. In fact, you probably need a network of highly experienced and critical people. Having an external source of information and evaluation, people that are critical enough to not only support you but also warn you when applicable can be priceless when it comes to avoiding mistakes or ending up in a situation that you actually did not want when you started. It may also very helpful to have a third party that can evaluate your own motives.

How did you become interested in counseling people with alternative sexual lifestyles?

I had a Masters in Counseling Psychology and was already working as a counselor when I got involved in the BDSM scene.

When you see a client, are you “treating” them?

No, I’m counseling. When you’re “treating” somebody, you assume something’s wrong. I’m not doing that. I’m coming from a place of empowerment and I think that’s very important.

Why do most people come to see you?

If you’re going to get involved with BDSM you want to make sure your head is in a good place. Some people are concerned with how far they might go. People have an easy time talking with me, in part because I’m twisted myself. Sometimes they have a hard time discussing the extent of their fantasy.

Can you explain what the sexual turn-on is with BDSM?

There’s some sort of “sick-twisted-fuck gene” that some people have. That is my professional term. The pain goes straight to your clit or straight to your cock. It’s not for everybody. They have that gene – and good for them.

Do people need to just stop worrying about their attraction to BDSM?

When most people tell me their fantasies, I say, hey go for it. Here are some online websites and groups in the city. Have a good time. If you need to talk to somebody on the way, I’m here. I’ve seen two people where I didn’t think they were healthy but it wasn’t the kink, it was there frame of mind they were in that needed help.

How would you go about counseling a Dom/Domme who was concerned about their attraction to “Dom-ing?”

I would focus on the other areas of their psyche. Are they capable of loving somebody? Are they capable of being empathetic? Are they capable of being aware of the world and people around them? Are they healthy in those areas… because if they’re not, then you’ve got a problem.

What about a Dom/Domme who is healthy, but concerned with their sadistic tendencies within a scene?

I think that’s what it’s all about. You are pushing the boundary in this lifestyle. I don’t see a problem with that. If you’re whipping your partner to the point of bringing a trace of blood, there has to be an understanding between the two of you with how far you’re both willing to go. That’s why you have safe words so that you both have control in that situation. What I would do is check to see if there was caring about the person afterwards and caring for their wounds and kissing them and licking them. That tells me that they’re in a healthy space right there because that’s the normal response for a caring Dom. So that’s fine. It’s when there isn’t any taking care of the person’s body afterwards that there’s a problem.

What are the inner personality issues with somebody who likes to take on the “submissive role?”

Most of the time I find that people who are submissive, who come to me have intense lifestyles. I think a lot of times if they are very accomplished, they are very good at being submissive because it is just a release of all the pressure they have to encounter in their vanilla life. That’s what I mean when I talk about the “release of ego,” because they really have to release, and if they can get there it’s a total place of freedom in a bizarre way.

And for people who don’t fit that overly accomplished stereotype but still like to submit?

Some submissives are very into giving. Being submissive allows them to be more confident in other areas of their life. If you can be successful in being submissive to somebody, it takes a lot of strength within you to do that, and that strength and being able to do that empowers you to be stronger in other areas of your life. I’ve experienced that myself.

What’s your take on people who are “switches?”

There’s a mutuality in a relationship which can be quite erotic if you are into mutual switching. It’s not you’re going to be Dom now and I’m going to be submissive… This will sound strange, but when whales are copulating they intertwine and they swim in a motion that’s circular and it’s like a beautiful dance. I think when you’re switching together in mutuality you have that same sort of wonderful dance that’s done in the water and it can be quite wonderful. Very erotic. Very sensual.

What’s an example of a stumbling block for a couple with a BDSM lifestyle?

Some relationships that start out with a strong focus on SM get to a point where the Dom can’t beat their partner because they love them so much. It reminds me of the Madonna complex, when a husband and wife have a baby and then the husband can’t fuck his wife because she had his child. A lot of times when Doms and Subs fall deeply in love, real life starts to takeover and the love relationship take precedence over the D/s relationship.

But isn’t it also possible that as the love grows stronger, their excitement over their D/s roles also gets more intense?

I think there are times when the BDSM aspects between a couple can help prevent going into the vanilla lethargy that can occur after a while in a traditional relationship.

Do you think somebody’s interest in fetish behavior increases when they are single?

If somebody is single and lonely and they need to fill something that’s missing, it’s possible that their fetish interest will increase. But, if they’re more stable and have a good foundation the need for the fetish will stay the same as when they were a relationship.

Any special fun plans in the near future?

I’m going to Kink in the Caribbean. I signed up for everything. I’ll do some dom-ing and some submissive play. I’m going to be in the Kink Olympics and Mistress Domina’s Boot camp.

What’s a truism and falsity about somebody who counsels people on alternative sexuality?

That I’m an absolute pervert.

Which one is that, true or false?

I’d say it’s true and it’s false (laughs).

There are four key elements to bondage. They do not always come together in every session and they do not have to. That is up to the dominant’s plan and intentions. But it is important to understand them.

Regardless the technique you use, these key elements (in random order) are:

* Time
* Helplessness
* Exposure
* Frustration

Let’s look at these elements in a bit more detail. But first this. While in oriental bondage these elements are examined and used in great detail, western style is more often used to either “just” restrain or as part of a session that incorporates a lot more. While you do not have to go as far as the oriental Shibari specialists, you will greatly benefit from looking at these elements and using them in your scenes and sessions. It will make the effects, hence your entire scene, a lot more intense without extra effort.

Time
Time is an important factor in most BDSM-play. In bondage, it is crucial. The longer a bondage is being maintained, the more intense its effects will become. And that is not only true for physically demanding positions, such as a hog tie. Even a very simple set up will sort a lot more effect, if the effects of it are given a chance to really kick in mentally. Being restrained is one thing – truly experiencing the fact that freedom is being restricted is something else. Even if that is only a little freedom.

Besides, even though these are usually not specifically targeted in western bondage, ropes and knots will quite often work on erotic pressure points and these pressure points again require time, even if you accidentally target them. For western style, simply be aware that the wrists and ankles especially have a lot of such points and that, no matter what you do, these will almost always be used, so you might as well take advantage of this.

Helplessness
Helplessness is an important factor to the slave. The fact that she is at the mercy of the dominant is what makes the whole thing tick.
That – mentally – is where the power exchange is, regardless if you are just having a fun Friday night or if you have a full scale D/s relationship.
Bondage greatly helps to both physically and mentally create this feeling of helplessness, hence you should take as much advantage of it as you can.
Novice doms especially tend to overlook this aspect. While they usually spend a lot of time looking at pictures, once “the real thing” is roped, they will very rapidly proceed to the next steps of their plans and disregard the joy, you can find in just taking some time to look at your now helpless slave.
That is where she gets turned on, so do take time to let her know she is helpless and at your mercy, without actually doing anything. The anticipation, mild fear and excitement is more than enough, especially in the early stages of your session.

Exposure
Exposure and helplessness go hand in hand. And that is not just sexual exposure. Just the fact that her now restrained body is being exposed (and ready for whatever use) is an important factor that should not be overlooked. Hence, just looking at your helpless slave works miracles. Be a cat. She is now your “prey” – make her feel she is by walking around her, observing or just sitting and looking at her.

Being sexually exposed is a major fantasy for many, many women, so that is another factor to take into account. Be aware that most women have a love/hate relationship with their genitals – make good use of that by exposing them and leaving her with no option but to be exposed.

Frustration
No, it won’t always be easy. It won’t always be what she expected it to be. She is likely to become frustrated. And ….. that’s the whole point. Frustration is something to be careful with, but something that you should use. Because that is where domination kicks in. Even if it is only a split second where the dominant will NOT respond to her pleas, cries or whatever, THAT is where she is really and truly dominated and that will leave a major impression. Hence you may want to take things just a tad further than she expected or thought she could handle. And there is nothing wrong with bondage and teasing.

The above article is a reprint from our information/educational site Kink Culture.

A joint project between Wastealnd.Com and Power Erotics

Warning
First of all this: sexual shaming is not something for incidental contacts or one night stands. The reason: the risks – for the dominant especially – are simply too high. it is not unlikely (in fact this happens frequently) that women – in the heat of the moment – will allow things they will later regret. And since sexual shaming is very close to actual rape or sexual assault, it is not entirely unlikely they may file charges the day after. Even if nothing against her will happened, that is not something you want to have to go through. At times, dominants should protect themselves. Especially when it comes to incidental situations.

What is sexual shaming?
The problem is: what is considered to be shameful or embarrassing is very personal and – as a result – varies from person to person. What may be “peanuts” for one may be extremely shameful to the other. Oral or anal sex for example are “it” to one woman and an “absolute not” to another. Even simpler sex, such as being called a “slut” or a “whore” or having to dress sexy may actually appeal to one (i.e. to her is not shameful at all) while another may consider this to be extremely humiliating or even insulting. Hence, this is an area to approach with care.

This is another reason why sexual shaming is not something for one night stands. Simply because the dominant has to know what is shameful and what is not, in order to be able to actually use the impulse. In fact, if she likes to be called a slut, doing that may be entirely counter=productive if your goal is to use the shame-impulse.

Forced to sex
In other words, getting to know your partner/slave is paramount, when it comes to this. Which is actually true for most forms of “mental play”. If you do not know what is going on in her mind, the chances of actually hitting the right button are very low. And the chances of hitting the wrong button are extremely high. You may easily hit a “turn off” button and in many cases you may stumble on some hidden fear, a trauma or simply a bad dream.

The sexual victim fetish
The Internet has brought about the “sexual victim fetish”. Now what exactly is that? Well, chat boxes and boards especially are packed with submissives who “compete” against each other. While there are of course real victims of sexual trauma, research has shown that there aren’t any more, nor any less, within the BDSM community than there are in any other social group. But if you were to believe chat boxes, nearly every submissive woman seems to have a trauma. This is simply not the case. In fact, quite a few of these stories are made up – more or less out of “competition” reasons. That makes it very difficult for dominants to establish whether there is a real trauma or not. Rule of thumb: most real victims usually do not talk about it, at least not easily.

The above article is a reprint from our information/educational site Kink Culture.
A joint project between Wastealnd.Com and Power Erotics

Rope:

Available in many, many types, qualities, thicknesses, strength and colors. For safety and comfort reasons you need to know about ropes if you plan to enter into erotic bondage. So this article is about rope.

Allow us to first of all put an end to the discussion about cotton rope versus synthetic rope (nylon, polyprop, etcetera). It is largely a matter of personal preferences and comes down to the basic preference for natural materials or synthetic materials.

These are the realistic pros and cons:

* Natural ropes (cotton, hemp, silk) simply require more maintenance and are less durable, hence need to be replaced more often.
* Natural material attracts germs (and works as a very fertile breeding ground).
* Synthetic rope is three to ten times as strong as cotton rope on average, hence simply a lot safer to use, especially when it comes to suspension.

Material:

The synthetic material used is actually only a matter of budget, with one exception: NYLON. Nylon rope stretches and you may not want to use this for bondages that are not supposed to come off. However the stretching capability may be very handy in other parts of your bondage, such as in a hog tie where you will want to allow for some stretching between the arms and the folded legs.
Aramid and HMP (High Module Polyethylene) are expensive materials, hence more durable. Polyester and Polypropylene (polyprop) is cheaper and (a little) less durable.

Twisted Rope :

Twisted rope is the most popular rope around, however not really suitable for bondage purposes, because of the twisted surface that may cause irritation or unwanted pressure on nerve ends when used directly on the skin. Since it is usually cheaper than other ropes and reliable, twisted rope may be used as suspension ropes as the connection between the on-body ropes and whatever she is suspended from.

Twisted ropes are available in two “directions” (S and Z), which has to do with the production process but is totally irrelevant in an erotic bondage context. The Z-direction is the most common one. Twisted rope is also known as tanned rope.

STRENGTH: 12 mm thick polyprop twisted rope will handle a peak tension of between 1,500 and 2,000 kilograms, which makes it suitable for suspension purposes. Its durability is reasonable.

Braided Rope:

Braided rope is usually more expensive and may sometimes be more difficult to find. Boat shops and sports shops are usually your best bet, as opposed to for example Home Depot or other Do It Yourself shops. Braided rope is the preferred choice for use directly on the skin, i.e. for the bondages themselves.
Choose 5 or 6 mm thick ropes for your bondages. 6 mm will usually be the preferred choice for use on the body, 5 mm is very suitable to tie wrists and ankles. Braided rope is produced with different techniques. Strength is not an issue here since this will vary between 1,500 and 2,500 kilograms depending on the material used.

Hollow braid: Although this is the most vulnerable rope (since it has no kernel its durability is reasonable) it is by far the preferred choice for erotic bondages, since it is very soft. However, you need to be aware that untiring may sometimes be a bit of a problem if you are inexperienced.

Parallel Kernel:

Is the best compromise between softness, ease of use and safety and especially suitable for inexperienced bondage lovers, since it it easier to untie. The only disadvantage is that you will have to put extra effort in securing the ends of the rope, If you don’t, the braid will easily slip over the kernel.
Braid on braid: Is a good choice for those, looking for bondage in combination with discomfort or even pain. The rope is more tough, may be somewhat difficult to tie and again the rope ends require extra attention.

Multibraided:

Is better not used, since it is not very flexible and difficult to tie.

Colors:

Colors are first of all a matter of personal preference. However, most experience bondage masters will use either different colors or different color tips at the ends of the ropes to identify ropes for special purposes (such as ropes that are only to be used in the genital area). You can die your ropes yourself, using textile die for synthetic fabrics.

Please note that the colors used in the illustrations have no specific relevance. Colored fibers, braided into the rope, will usually indicate size and/or strength.

Maintenance:

Maintenance is paramount. You need to wash your ropes regularly to avoid unwanted infections. Simply put them in your washing machine and wash using a mild program. If you wrap them into a blanket first, they are less likely to get entangled.

Ropes, used in the genital area, should be used for the same person only, in order to avoid transmission of sexually transmitted diseases.

Regularly check your ropes for damaged fibers. A damaged rope is a potential danger, especially when used for suspension purposes. be aware that sudden moves, fighting and suspension may cause considerable peak tension and a damaged rope may break unexpectedly.

Tips:

One thing that requires attention are the rope endings, the tips or “tackles”. There are various ways to secure the ends of your rope. The easiest way, suitable for synthetic ropes, is to simply hold the end in a candle flame and melt it together. That is the fastest, easiest way, but not necessarily an aesthetic way.

Boat shops will sell special fluid for your rope ends. Just dip the end of the rope into the fluid and leave it to dry for a little while. Latex based glue will do exactly the same thing and may sometimes be easier to find. Finally, if you wrap the end tightly with a plastic tape and shrink it carefully over a mild heat source you will create a very nice plastic tube that secures your rope end. By using different colors you can easily identify your ropes.

Experienced sailors will tell you there are other – more professional – ways to finish and secure your rope ends as well. If you buy a book about fisherman’s knots for example you’ll find all sorts of examples of such more professional rope tips. However, since most of these techniques are complicated, we will concentrate on the easy techniques here.

Basic Rope Set:

We strongly advise to use sets with different rope lengths. Using different ropes – instead of one or two very long ropes – makes it easier to tie and untie the bondage, allows for adjustments and in general is a lot simpler and safer. There is no telling what your rope set should look like – every dominant has his own requirements and some couples are into more complicated rope bondages than others. But if you go out to buy your first set, this may be your shopping list:

* four 5 to 6 MM (0.24 inch) diameter ropes, each about sixteen feet/five meter long (most frequently used) – the dimensions of these ropes may vary based on individual physique. These ropes are used for many purposes: to tie ankles or wrists or to tie a limb to something else for example.
* two 5 to 6 MM (0.24 inch) diameter ropes, thirty three feet/ten meter long. These are used for intersections and torso wraps for example.
* three of four 10 to 12 MM (0.43 inch) diameter ropes, five to seven meters/twenty feet long that you can use for suspension purposes.

Softening Your Ropes:

Most people will want to soften their ropes. New rope is usually somewhat rough and stiff. A good start is to simply throw your rope(s) in the washing machine, wash them at a standard medium temperature program and use fabric softener. One or two machine washes will dramatically soften your rope and regularly washing your ropes is a good idea anyway, for hygienic reasons.

A laborious technique, favored by many experienced bondage masters, is to buy twin kernel rope (which is considerably more expensive) and pull out one of the kernels. This is a tough job to do, but the main advantage is that your ropes will be softer and more smooth on the skin, without losing strength (double kernel ropes are used by mountaineers for their safety lines, hence removing one of the kernels will still leave you with a very strong and durable bondage rope).

The Proverbial Bandage Scissors:

You’ll see it advocated on the net and elsewhere: have a pair of bandage scissors around for fast cutting of ropes. Our advice: PLEASE DON’T DO THAT. Bandage scissors – unless they are heavy duty, high cost Emergency Shears used in ER’s – will probably not cut your rope but – at best – will break. Do NOT rely on them.

The best safety measure is to make sure there are panic hooks or panic hitches at your critical release points and to have a sail maker knife (available from boat shops) available for the (unlikely) event you need to cut ropes.

The above article is a reprint from our information/educational site Kink Culture.
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