A while ago we talked about the expectations that might be set for a party.  Now let’s  look at one of the scenes that might occur at that party in a similar way.  What expectations to the participants bring to it?  Let’s imagine the case of a submissive woman and her non-playing but supportive partner.   She wants to be tied and flogged while her partner watches, so she can escape into a private fantasy which she knows will bring her to an ecstatic climax.  For the time being, her partner must become an actor,  must be able to sustain the fantasy that is being projected upon them. An amateur theatre production might for example thrust a man upon the stage with a black eye-patch, a stuffed parrot in one hand and a wooden cutlass in the other.  The sound system scratches out a non-descript shanty and someone chucks a bucket of water over the set.  Wanting to believe in the story being told, the audience settles back to await a rousing tale of swashbuckling and kidnapped maidens.  Incidentally, directors know how important the kidnapped maiden bit is.  But I digress!

This woman’s partner may be required to be a cold observer of her humiliation or a helpless wretch unable to save her from her plight.  Her fantasy is her own story, and the others in the scene are her supporting cast   We enter into the realm of participatory ritual theatre.  Our task is easier than it is for the Mummers or the presenters of Passion Plays.  Easier even than for those engaging in demonstrations of  dungeon techniques for an audience, since we have only to create the experience for ourselves and not be concerned with the communication of  the experience.

Starting with the conclusion and working backwards we know that we want the submissive to achieve her earth-shattering orgasm.  She may wish it to occur within a particular  physical and psychological context, such as betrayal by her loved one at the height of her physical pain.  Thus the scene will end with her partner passionately embracing another woman just about the time she reaches the limit of her tolerance for the flogging.  The flogger then, will be going for overload and stress, rather than an endorphin high.  The position assumed for the flogging will also be such that the subject will be able to get herself off.  A rolled towel between her legs, perhaps enhanced with the insertion of a butt plug,  can provide sufficient stimulation, if she has freedom to wriggle.

Now we come to the “why” of the story.  How has she ended up in this predicament in the first place?  If her story tells that she came blindfolded, naked under her dress, the toy already filling her bottom, then that is how the evening should start.   But we still don’t know  the “why” of it.  Perhaps she has been a silly, frivolous girl, always whining for more, unappreciative of what she already has.  In order to punish her she has been brought to the dungeon where her humiliation will be witnessed by amused strangers.  Now we have the key to the rest of the scene.  There must be an entrance, an air of formality and inevitability about the proceedings.  In the spirit of consensual non-consensuality  she must be able to believe that she has no choice other than to go along with what is to be done to her, and to create the necessary level of excitement, she must be afraid of what is going to happen.  Her expectation that she will be taken beyond her limits must be fulfilled, although it is important to point out here that we are talking about perceived limits, not real limits, for it is in the unexplored territory between where the true essence of dungeon play is found.  To go beyond a real limit is senseless brutality and does nothing but damage both the top and the bottom physically, mentally or both.

With the broad structure in place there are many details of costuming, props, narrative and environment that support that structure.  Next we will get into the details that work on the human psyche to develop and enhance fantasy.  Think about all the ways that folk have devised to ritualize their lives from the Goth scene to conservative Catholicism.

Until the next time,

May all your black clothes make it back from the cleaners,

SB.

Reprinted with permission from Wasteland.Com

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This is my story. My husband and I run a private business. It is an Internet based operation that we run from our home. It is quite a demanding job, sometimes a bit stressful. And I am – or should I say was – a coffee-addict. A year ago I would drink 12 to 15 cups of coffee a day. Black and strong. No milk, just sugar. That was until the day my husband – who is also my 24/7 master – told me coffee for me would be a no go and that, if I really needed it, it would have to be “French coffee”.

This means drinking coffee now is a very humiliating protocol for me

It goes like this. If a really, really, really want coffee I will first of all have to beg for it. Next, when it suits him, I will have to kneel down and give master a really good blowjob.

And that is not just a “suck and swallow” quickly. No, he wants the works.

I must kiss, lick and suck until he is completely satisfied and ready to cum. If he does I must of course catch the sperm in my mouth, but I am not allowed to swallow it.

Master is a hard man to please and he has taught me well. So this part of the ritual is very likely to take quite some time. Usually something in between 30 minutes and an hour.

Only now master will pour me a cup of coffee. I will next have to empty my mouth in my cup, thus mixing the sperm with the coffee. This I have to do in front of him, still kneeling, so he can enjoy the scene. I can assure you, this is probably the most humiliating part of the process.

I’m sure you get the point by now. What is inside the cup after this is what master has baptized “French coffee”. I have to drink it of course.

This is the only coffee I am allowed to drink. And what is worse, this ritual allows for very clever embarrassment.

For example, whenever we visit others and people offer me coffee I have to say that only drink “French coffee”. When they ask for an explanation I will give them some story about a very special European brand or a very special blending, both of course unavailable in the United States.

And all I can do is hope that there is not another master somewhere who came up with the same idea….

Alternative sexual games open new possibilities for STD infection. Most of these are caused by viruses and are easy to catch if you allow them to enter a body opening (sex organ, mouth or small wound). We will give some short descriptions here:

VIRUS INFECTIONS

Hepatitis

Is an inflammation of the liver. There are different forms (A and B are the most common), caused by a virus. Symptoms may vary from relatively harmless flu type reactions to fatal liver diseases.

Herpes

(also around in different forms) causes small fluid filled blisters. It is a virus. The blistering will not be triggered by the disease but by external factors like exposure to the sun, emotional stress or another illness or fever. The blisters may appear on and around the mouth, the genitals or other parts of the body, depending on the type. Herpes is not fatal, but may cause complications with other infections and sometimes can be painful. Herpes simplex, that may cause blisters on the mouth and/or genitals, cannot yet be cured.

Syphilis

In modern society is rare, but still around. It is caused by an organism and causes swellings on the body that will leave a scar after healing. Unrecognized syphilis will eventually ruin the vascular and nervous systems and cause death.

Genital Warts

(small swellings in and around the genitals) are caused by a virus. They may cause the development of cervix cancer and should be taken seriously. They need early and repeated treatment.

BACTERIA

Gonorrhea

Has been around for ages and still is something to watch out for. It may cause sterility (men) or inflammation of the fallopian tube (women). An infected women may pass it on to the eyes of a newborn child when the infection occurs during pregnancy.

Chlamydial and Ureaplasmal

Infections 
Are the most common group of STDs. They are likely to cause all sorts of diseases. Treatment and interruption of sexual contacts is advised. This group spreads easily and rapidly. Having dirty hands or fingernails when penetrating or dirty toys are the most common causes. 
We’ve mentioned only the most common STDs here, there are a lot more around. When in doubt, always check with your doctor. You may be embarrassed about it. This is only natural and the doctor will understand this. Remember, it may the first time you are confronted with STDs, but the doctor has seen it all before. Not seeing the doctor in almost all cases leads to trouble. Most of the STDs will not go away by themselves and some are nasty and persistent. 


Be aware that some bdsm techniques can also be responsible for transmitting STDs 


Unprotected Toys 
Are the most common transmitter of bacteria and are likely to cause one of the infections mentioned above. Even if it has just been laying around for awhile it may have picked up bacteria. When you penetrate, always use a condom – and don’t forget your wonderful penis-shaped whip grip.

Bondage Ropes

When used in the genital area, are another possible transmitter of disease. The general advice is to wash your ropes regularly, disinfect them and reserve marked ropes for these areas. When just hanging on the wall and not being used for some time germs and bacteria may find a nice nest inside your bondage ropes. (Guess you’ll just have to use them more!)

Nipple Clamps

Are another well known toy often used in this (genital) area. Again regularly clean and disinfect them.

Leather

Is a living material and germs and bacteria will nest in it, especially if these toys have not been used for some time.

Whipping

One thing you should be aware of is that whipping causes the small veins in the skin to open up and send blood to the whipped area. This creates an expressway for viruses and bacteria to infiltrate the body and not only the std-related ones. You should be aware of this phenomena, especially when whipping the genital area. Extra attention to hygiene and regular cleaning and disinfecting of whips is required.

First Aid Kit

This entire safe sex section may scare you a bit. There’s no need for that, but it’s always advisable to be aware of possible risks and to take precautions when necessary. This goes for having a first aid kit around as well. Mishaps always occur. Most any general first aid kit will do, with two extras: first of all a pair of bandage scissors. These will enable you to quickly and safely cut ropes and even leather straps when you need to. Bandage scissors are designed to avoid harming your partner unintentionally. Next to this it’s handy to have freeze spray (or cold spray) around for muscle treatment (makes a wonderful toy as well).

Erotic power exchange can take any shape or form within a relationship between a man and a woman. From little things like blindfolding her when making love to anything like 24 hours a day, 7 days a week dedication or branding.

The shape and form it takes totally depends upon the fantasies, situation and boundaries of the partners involved. As long as it is informed consensual, safe, sane and voluntary it is called erotic power exchange. If any or all of these four elements are missing, it is called abuse.

Next, erotic power exchange requires a specific environment. Call it a biosphere, if you like. What it requires is a very sound, honest and sincere relationship, intense and open communication, trust, a lot of mutual understanding, an open mind, lots of love and care and a fair bit of creativity.

People will often ask: what’s wrong with straight sex? Why add things like power exchange. Well, there’s nothing wrong with straight sex. But there are people that want more out of their relationship. Maybe even more out of life. Those are the people that will identify the power element, that exists in every relationship, and start to work with it, play with it, explore and experiment. We all have to deal with political power for example, but not all of us become politicians or even take an interest in politics.

Giving away power to your partner can be an immense erotic sensation. Being tied up, relatively helpless and being launched by your partner into your own fantasies and dreams – some submissives call that sub space – can be thrilling, relaxing and revealing at the same time. Pain, tickling and all sorts of other impulses – when administered with care and skill – can pump up your endorphins, giving you the same sensation sports people will sometimes feel. On the other hand, the dominant partner will feel the adrenaline flow freely through his body, giving him a very powerful feeling and very intense and caring emotion at the same time. No, the people that do it don’t need it to have an orgasm, but yes, they do need the power element to be present and used in their relationship.

An umbrella for lots of different things

Erotic power exchange is a very individual, personal experience. That is why it is very hard to describe what it is exactly. The only element all these people have in common is the fact that they are fascinated by the power element. What they do, how they do it and why may be completely different things.

Erotic power exchange is an umbrella argument. One couple may fill it in as tying her up in bed, another may be fascinated by the idea of a “strange” man walking into the bedroom capturing her and a third may have a relationship where she serves him in any aspect. Erotic power exchange is like golf: it is highly individual, you are the master of your own game and you are also your own referee.

It is entirely about what you want to do. You do not have to copy others. You do not even have to agree with what others do. It is your game, your thoughts, your fantasies. It is what you and your partner share. It is being able to explore the borders of your mind and imagination in a very safe environment.

To many people erotic power exchange is not just about sex, but a lifestyle. Most people that do it will recognize it as something very personal, something very much belonging to themselves. To many it is a way to express themselves.

Glove Cuffs

Glove cuffs are leather gloves in which the hand can be folded and strapped down that way (much like a boxing glove). They are very restrictive, since the fingers cannot do anything anymore and are kept in one position that cannot be changed. That usually leads to quite a bit of frustration.

There are various designs around, make sure you buy a pair that also has good quality wrist cuffs (either intricate or attached), so can do more with your your cuffs than merely secure the fingers.

Backstraps

A backstrap is a collar and a pair of wrist cuffs, interconnected with an adjustable band. Their function is to keep the arms folded on the back, attached to the collar.

The interconnecting band should be adjustable, in order to be able to either bring the arms higher or lower as well as to adjust the whole thing to the slave’s physique.

Backstraps are erotic, rather than functional. They are good for soft, erotic play, but not very functional in sessions that are a little more rough. In fact, they might be dangerous, since moving the arms will have a direct effect on the ability to breath. For erotic BDSM however, they function very well, provided you have managed to find a good design.

When you go out to buy backstraps you need to compromise between softness and sturdiness off the leather used. If the leather is too soft, the whole will deform quickly and becomes an ugly thing that you do not want to use anymore. If however the leather is too thick, it doesn’t fit into the erotic setting it was designed for.

The other thing to watch for is the size of the collar and cuffs. Often, these will be too broad and too wide. If that is the case, better leave it on the shelf. The collar should be somewhat wide, since a thinner collar will soon become painful and actually rather dangerous, since the pressure in on the front of the neck, as soon as the arms are being dropped.

Thighcuffs

Thighcuffs are a classic example of things, that are best left where they were: on the shelf in the shop. They are an invention of the porn industry and they probably look good in pictures, but they don’t work. Due to the cone-shape of the thighs, all they do is fall off. If you want your slave in the position as in the picture, use rope. Leather cuffs simply will not do the trick.

Singlegloves

Singlegloves are a “look before you leap” toy. Their objective is to fully secure the arms on the back. They are great to have, IF your slave can handle this position. Many people simply can’t and if that is the case, buying a singleglove is simply a waste of (quite a bit of) money.

A singleglove is expensive and one of the things to pay a lot of attention to is their fit as well as adjustability. They should have straps that secure the wrists, elbows and upper arms, as well as straps that go over the shoulders to hold the whole thing in place. There should be room enough to get the arms in properly and they should go all the way up to the armpits. Do pay attention to the cone shape, so they will not block arteries in the upper arm.

Off the shelf singlegloves hardly ever fit and most are of rather poor quality. If you want to buy one, it is a much better idea to find a local leather crafter and have one made to measure. That actually will not be more expensive than buying one off the shelf. In fact, it will probably be somewhat cheaper and in any case better.

A singleglove is very restrictive and they have a high erotic charisma. Also, they make the very straining arm position somewhat easier to maintain, since the entire arms are supported by their leather encasing. For a position like this, that is a plus and your slave will probably be grateful for that..

However, do be critical. As we said, not everyone can do this and the position can easily dislocate shoulder joints or even break bones. So, unless your slave is able to handle this position, do not buy one. Try using rope first to ascertain if really can do what you want.

Article and Photos Courtesy of Wasteland.Com

This may sound silly, but the first requirement for leather cuffs is that they should fit! The problem is that well over 80 percent of the leather cuffs, produced commercially, do not! Especially not if the slave happens to be female. The vast majority of commercial production is aimed at submissive men and as a result most cuffs are simple too big and too wide for use on women.

You can save yourself a lot of money and yet another disappointment if you bring your sub or slave with you, when you go out to buy cuffs and have her fit them in the store. If that is not allowed – leave it. It is not worth your money.

The second important thing is that straight forward handcuffs are designed to connect one arm (or leg) to the other in some way – they were not designed to hang from! Even when standing with the hands cuffed overhead, special cuffs should be used in order to avoid damage to one of the main nerves, the one that send messages to and from your extremities, this is what makes us very different from any other mammal: the thumb! Loose the feeling in that nerve (which is more than a little likely) and you’ll have trouble picking up a cup or a pencil or anything else for a long time to come!

Cuffs should be properly constructed. Cowhide is the best choice, since it is strong and durable. Ideally the cuffs should be lined with a thinner layer of leather, so sweat cannot soak into the inside of the leather. D-rings (the ones you use to connect on cuff to another) should be welded for safety reasons and rivets, suds and rings should be steel, not nickel, in order to avoid rusting. Cheap leather cuffs are always a bad choice. Remember they will be on the body of your loved one and at times her well being may depend on them. So only the best is good enough!

Leather collars again are almost always made too big for women, which makes them very uncomfortable to wear. Here again, the advice is to fit them in the shop before buying one and nine out of ten times a simple (and much cheaper) dog collar from your local pet shop will do the same thing and probably better.

Check “The Rack – How To Guides” at Wasteland.Com for cuff designs, you can easily make yourself as well as for hints and tips about leather maintenance.

Especially if bondage is new to you, it is a good idea to have a few leather belts (straps) around. They are easy to work with and quite handy in many situations, either to use as a bondage tool on the body, or to strap your slave to a table, a chair, or a bed.

Belts are safe, easy to use and relatively cheap. Check with shops that sells luggage equipment for longer straps.

Ideally, they should not have sharp edges. If they do, that is usually easily corrected by massaging a firm dose of Vaseline into the belt, which is very good for your leather anyway.

Do invest in a tool to cut extra holes in your belts (that comes in handy anyway, since almost all leather equipment requires such small adjustments) and make many, so your belts are ready to tackle just about every possible bondage situation.

Different lengths is a good plan, since having a choice will not leave you with ugly long ends if you have only one type of belt.

Go for luggage belts rather than waist belts, since the latter usually have fancy buckles and all sorts of studs and decorations, that has a tendency to get in the way when used for bondage purposes.

Article and Photos Courtesy of Wasteland.Com



Although she misbehaves, Jada learns her lesson pretty fast when her cruel master shows no hesitation in forcing her onto her hands and knees and shoving his cock down her throat as a form of punishment. She might have been bewildered, but that did not stop Jada from still mouthing off, so Master Eric did the next best thing and decided that her ass would have to pay for her belligerent mouth! Jada has no choice but to accept her punishment right in front of the wasteland cameras as her Master pounds her ass so hard that she ends up screaming in an intense orgasm!

Just CLICK HERE if you want to see the full picture gallery of Jada and her anal experience.