A while ago we talked about the expectations that might be set for a party.  Now let’s  look at one of the scenes that might occur at that party in a similar way.  What expectations to the participants bring to it?  Let’s imagine the case of a submissive woman and her non-playing but supportive partner.   She wants to be tied and flogged while her partner watches, so she can escape into a private fantasy which she knows will bring her to an ecstatic climax.  For the time being, her partner must become an actor,  must be able to sustain the fantasy that is being projected upon them. An amateur theatre production might for example thrust a man upon the stage with a black eye-patch, a stuffed parrot in one hand and a wooden cutlass in the other.  The sound system scratches out a non-descript shanty and someone chucks a bucket of water over the set.  Wanting to believe in the story being told, the audience settles back to await a rousing tale of swashbuckling and kidnapped maidens.  Incidentally, directors know how important the kidnapped maiden bit is.  But I digress!

This woman’s partner may be required to be a cold observer of her humiliation or a helpless wretch unable to save her from her plight.  Her fantasy is her own story, and the others in the scene are her supporting cast   We enter into the realm of participatory ritual theatre.  Our task is easier than it is for the Mummers or the presenters of Passion Plays.  Easier even than for those engaging in demonstrations of  dungeon techniques for an audience, since we have only to create the experience for ourselves and not be concerned with the communication of  the experience.

Starting with the conclusion and working backwards we know that we want the submissive to achieve her earth-shattering orgasm.  She may wish it to occur within a particular  physical and psychological context, such as betrayal by her loved one at the height of her physical pain.  Thus the scene will end with her partner passionately embracing another woman just about the time she reaches the limit of her tolerance for the flogging.  The flogger then, will be going for overload and stress, rather than an endorphin high.  The position assumed for the flogging will also be such that the subject will be able to get herself off.  A rolled towel between her legs, perhaps enhanced with the insertion of a butt plug,  can provide sufficient stimulation, if she has freedom to wriggle.

Now we come to the “why” of the story.  How has she ended up in this predicament in the first place?  If her story tells that she came blindfolded, naked under her dress, the toy already filling her bottom, then that is how the evening should start.   But we still don’t know  the “why” of it.  Perhaps she has been a silly, frivolous girl, always whining for more, unappreciative of what she already has.  In order to punish her she has been brought to the dungeon where her humiliation will be witnessed by amused strangers.  Now we have the key to the rest of the scene.  There must be an entrance, an air of formality and inevitability about the proceedings.  In the spirit of consensual non-consensuality  she must be able to believe that she has no choice other than to go along with what is to be done to her, and to create the necessary level of excitement, she must be afraid of what is going to happen.  Her expectation that she will be taken beyond her limits must be fulfilled, although it is important to point out here that we are talking about perceived limits, not real limits, for it is in the unexplored territory between where the true essence of dungeon play is found.  To go beyond a real limit is senseless brutality and does nothing but damage both the top and the bottom physically, mentally or both.

With the broad structure in place there are many details of costuming, props, narrative and environment that support that structure.  Next we will get into the details that work on the human psyche to develop and enhance fantasy.  Think about all the ways that folk have devised to ritualize their lives from the Goth scene to conservative Catholicism.

Until the next time,

May all your black clothes make it back from the cleaners,

SB.

Reprinted with permission from Wasteland.Com

Condoms

Always use a condom when penetrating, either vaginal or anal. Using condoms when having oral sex is generally advised (you can buy mint or menthol flavoured condoms for this purpose).

This may sound silly, but if you have never bought condoms before, please avoid the vending machines in discotheques, bars, etc. The problem is that you never know how old the condoms are when you buy them. A condom with an expired maximum vending date is unsafe to use, because the latex deteriorates over time.

Do use condoms when penetrating with vibrators, dildos or other toys. When in scene, it is very possible your toys will lay about and attract dust and germs. Using condoms on your toys will keep them in a better condition as well and makes them easier to clean afterwards.

Some people have allergic reactions to the lubricant that is standard on most condoms. If you are not sure, buy non-lubricated condoms with a separate, water-based lubricant.

Dental Dams

It’s a must to use dental dams when rimming (licking the outside anal area) and it’s generally advised for oral-vaginal contact. Outside the USA, dental dams are sometimes hard to get. Contact a center for information about sexually transmitted diseases for addresses.

Latex Gloves

Latex gloves will protect your and your partner from all sorts of things. When penetrating either the vagina or anus, wear gloves. Especially when you’re fisting (including vaginal fisting).

Lubricant

Lubricant makes it easier to penetrate, both vaginal and anal. Buy only water-based lubricants. Oil-based lubricants will ruin your condoms and other latex protective gear in seconds (this goes for your valuable latex clothing as well!). Be aware of the fact that massage oil, baby oil and butter will have the same effect on latex.

Some lubricants contain nonoxynol-9. Some people have allergic reactions to this. If you want to be on the safe side, buy a lubricant without it. On the other hand, nonoxynol-9 makes it a lot more difficult for the HIV virus to survive. If you and your partner(s) are not allergic then it’s worth using.

HIV Risks

All the general stuff about HIV infection (direct blood and sperm contact) of course goes for erotic power exchange as well. Take extra precautions when you are whipping and (accidentally) draw blood or when you are into needle play or cutting. Nipple clamps sometimes may cause bleeding of the nipples, women may experience this more while having a period. Intense stimulation of the nipples – clamps, binding and piercing(!!) – may incidentally cause a woman’s nipple to lactate slightly. Even some men will start to produce small amounts of lactate. Lactate may very well contain the HIV virus. 

Extra precautions should, of course, be taken if you are into some edge play situations.

Erotic power exchange can take any shape or form within a relationship between a man and a woman. From little things like blindfolding her when making love to anything like 24 hours a day, 7 days a week dedication or branding.

The shape and form it takes totally depends upon the fantasies, situation and boundaries of the partners involved. As long as it is informed consensual, safe, sane and voluntary it is called erotic power exchange. If any or all of these four elements are missing, it is called abuse.

Next, erotic power exchange requires a specific environment. Call it a biosphere, if you like. What it requires is a very sound, honest and sincere relationship, intense and open communication, trust, a lot of mutual understanding, an open mind, lots of love and care and a fair bit of creativity.

People will often ask: what’s wrong with straight sex? Why add things like power exchange. Well, there’s nothing wrong with straight sex. But there are people that want more out of their relationship. Maybe even more out of life. Those are the people that will identify the power element, that exists in every relationship, and start to work with it, play with it, explore and experiment. We all have to deal with political power for example, but not all of us become politicians or even take an interest in politics.

Giving away power to your partner can be an immense erotic sensation. Being tied up, relatively helpless and being launched by your partner into your own fantasies and dreams – some submissives call that sub space – can be thrilling, relaxing and revealing at the same time. Pain, tickling and all sorts of other impulses – when administered with care and skill – can pump up your endorphins, giving you the same sensation sports people will sometimes feel. On the other hand, the dominant partner will feel the adrenaline flow freely through his body, giving him a very powerful feeling and very intense and caring emotion at the same time. No, the people that do it don’t need it to have an orgasm, but yes, they do need the power element to be present and used in their relationship.

An umbrella for lots of different things

Erotic power exchange is a very individual, personal experience. That is why it is very hard to describe what it is exactly. The only element all these people have in common is the fact that they are fascinated by the power element. What they do, how they do it and why may be completely different things.

Erotic power exchange is an umbrella argument. One couple may fill it in as tying her up in bed, another may be fascinated by the idea of a “strange” man walking into the bedroom capturing her and a third may have a relationship where she serves him in any aspect. Erotic power exchange is like golf: it is highly individual, you are the master of your own game and you are also your own referee.

It is entirely about what you want to do. You do not have to copy others. You do not even have to agree with what others do. It is your game, your thoughts, your fantasies. It is what you and your partner share. It is being able to explore the borders of your mind and imagination in a very safe environment.

To many people erotic power exchange is not just about sex, but a lifestyle. Most people that do it will recognize it as something very personal, something very much belonging to themselves. To many it is a way to express themselves.

Welcome to Wasteland.com where Hardcore BDSM, sex, fun and pain are just everyday things! Poor miss Ashley is having a difficult time with her behavior. Her attitude during classes is just appalling and she just doesn’t seem to care. The Dean of her school has had enough and brings in some outside help. Keni Styles, the master of disaster, the colonel of pain, the king of dong…well you get the idea. Keni isn’t putting up with any shit from this misbehaving little hussy. He lays down the law immediately and pulls Ashley over his knee and spanks her ass red. Her defiance is unprecedented. The usual tactics just won’t suffice. She is so close, but heavier discipline is needed. So Keni pulls out old reliable, and gags the ornery little bitch with his hard cock while he stretches her tight little pussy with as many fingers as he can fit in her. He then finishes her off with a hard pussy pounding fuck, and forces her to swallow every drop of his cum. Class is over, and school is out…..think Ashley’s learned her lesson? Just CLICK HERE to watch Ashley and her attitude being readjusted!

Although she misbehaves, Jada learns her lesson pretty fast when her cruel master shows no hesitation in forcing her onto her hands and knees and shoving his cock down her throat as a form of punishment. She might have been bewildered, but that did not stop Jada from still mouthing off, so Master Eric did the next best thing and decided that her ass would have to pay for her belligerent mouth! Jada has no choice but to accept her punishment right in front of the wasteland cameras as her Master pounds her ass so hard that she ends up screaming in an intense orgasm!

Just CLICK HERE if you want to see the full picture gallery of Jada and her anal experience.

RIDICULING

Much of what a slave does, comes down to her motivation and quite often this motivation may be nothing else but pursuing her own pleasure. While there is of course nothing wrong with a slave having fun, it should also be clear that, if there is no true sacrifice, there is also no true submission. In such cases ridiculing her efforts will often help.

Picture this situation, many will recognize. A slave has recently been whipped. She will be proud of the marks, left behind by the whip or cane. But what exactly is she proud of? Well, nine out of ten times she will tell you something like Ï can bear this for my Master”, while in fact she is only pursuing her own fun.

What a dominant wants to see of course is true sacrifice, true surrendering, true submission. Meaning that you will want her to be happy (at times) not just for herself but be truly happy about how she has pleased her Master.

So what you do is this: perform one of her favorite scenarios but, instead of praising her, ridicule her. Tease her about how she is not really working very hard, how her cries of pain in fact are nothing but disguised cries of joy, how she gets aroused by all this and how hard she is working, pleasing herself instead of her dominant.

Combined with other forms of humiliation, such as letting her drool, a scene like that can be extremely confronting and will force her to re-evaluate her motivation. Quite often, that will bring her – and as a result the two of you – to entirely new and higher levels of intensity, especially when she starts to understand that true submission is in true sacrifice: i.e. doing things not for her, but for Him.

Be careful though, because you do not want to destroy her will to submit, you want to intensify and strengthen it, so don’t push things over the top. Maybe you will not be able to do all this in one step, but you may need a few small steps to get where you want to. The careful route is always the preferred one in psychological play, so take it slow.

BREAKING HER WILL

It’s a subject, much talked about in BDSM-circles: breaking the slave’s will. But how exactly do you do that. And – maybe most importantly – why.

Leila rejoins her cruel Master, Eric X, for yet another brutal BDSM session at Wasteland.com. Being one of his favorite slaves, Leila is in for no easy ride as Master X ties her up, suspending her while she’s spread like an eagle from the bondage rack of pain. She’s in store for all kinds of torture, which begins with her sexy little undies being cut off. Then clamps are attached to her pussy lips and the chain is led up and connected to her collar by a thick metal chain. This way Leila cannot flail her body without pulling on her sensitive and swollen labia. Not moving is extremely hard when you are being zapped by a wand that shoots electrical sparks at your skin, or when you are being flogged by your Master as he dual wields two floggers.

No Leila definitely does not have it easy. Her Master knows her so well that he’s able to push her to her limits without feeling one once of remorse. Master X gets off on seeing his favorite pet scream and shiver in pain as he tortures her suspended and helpless body. He tortures her tight little cunt with majesty, using a vibrator and a large dildo while her pussy is still being held in place by the clamps. This is a session you won’t want to miss, for it’s artistic beauty as well as the sadomasochistic hotness that it contains! Just click HERE to see the full picture gallery!

B&D: Bondage is described as the practice of restraining for pleasure, meaning the use of handcuffs or rope torestrain one’s appendages. Bondage is the means to have perfect control over the submissive partner’s body. Through B&D, subs find comfort in being controlled and freed of any thoughts they may have. The Dom in B&D might even inflict tolerable pain upon their partner.

Discipline here, describes the rules and punishments that are put into place to control overt behavior in BDSM relationships. Although I have linked bondage and discipline together here, they are not always interlinked. Bondage can be practiced for fun without any form of discipline attached to it just as one can practice discipline without using bondage as a means to achieve that end. It should also be noted that bondage is not always but usually is sexual.

D&S: Dominance and Submission go hand in hand. Ususally in these types of relationships there is some sort of pampering going on. For example, Master will ask me to serve him as a maid and a cook. If we were in a B&D relationship then he would not ask this of me but rather he would just want to do things to me like put me in a staccado position and flog me. In short D&S is the set of rituals and customs that involve one person submitting themselves to, and giving dominance to their partner. There are a wide range of fetishes that fall under the D&S category like cuckoldry, slavedom (depending on the individual case), petplay,etc.

the key phrase in D&S is Total Power Exchange since the submissive will give all control that they may have over themselves to their dominant partner. A D&S relationship can be a lifetsyle choice that is ongoing and permanent or it can be something that only takes place for short spurts of time.

S&M: Sadomasochism is derived from the two terms sadism and masochism. think about the Marquise de Sade when thinking about these two terms and you will be on the right track in trying to understand them. S&M refers to the physical aspect of BDSM and applies strictly to sexual and erotic scenarios. Meaning that it does not apply to the pain received during a car accident for example! Sadism being pleasure that is derived from inflicting physical pain, humiliation, degradation on another person and masochism being the experience of pleasure derived through receiving physical pain inflicted upon oneself. One can be in a D&S or even a B&D relationship that also involves S&M.

And so there you have it folks the breakdown of what BDSM really stands for. I could have gone a lot more indepth in this post but maybe I’ll save the juicy details for another day! Thanks to Wasteland.com for the hot pictures used in this article!

Wasteland has done it again and provided us with an inside look into the lives of Master Johnny and his slutty slave Debbie. Equipped with a new BDSM bondage bench, the Wasteland dungeon was the perfect place for Master Johnny to enjoy a brutally hardcore session with his favorite slave. Tied down to the bench so that she cannot move an inch, Debbie suffers at the hands of her cruel Master as he takes full advantage of her tight sexy body. Floggers, burning candle wax, nipple clamps and anal beads are just a few of the implements that Master Johnny chooses to use on her. One thing for sure, this is a hardcore BDSM session that Debbie will not soon forget!