A while ago we talked about the expectations that might be set for a party.  Now let’s  look at one of the scenes that might occur at that party in a similar way.  What expectations to the participants bring to it?  Let’s imagine the case of a submissive woman and her non-playing but supportive partner.   She wants to be tied and flogged while her partner watches, so she can escape into a private fantasy which she knows will bring her to an ecstatic climax.  For the time being, her partner must become an actor,  must be able to sustain the fantasy that is being projected upon them. An amateur theatre production might for example thrust a man upon the stage with a black eye-patch, a stuffed parrot in one hand and a wooden cutlass in the other.  The sound system scratches out a non-descript shanty and someone chucks a bucket of water over the set.  Wanting to believe in the story being told, the audience settles back to await a rousing tale of swashbuckling and kidnapped maidens.  Incidentally, directors know how important the kidnapped maiden bit is.  But I digress!

This woman’s partner may be required to be a cold observer of her humiliation or a helpless wretch unable to save her from her plight.  Her fantasy is her own story, and the others in the scene are her supporting cast   We enter into the realm of participatory ritual theatre.  Our task is easier than it is for the Mummers or the presenters of Passion Plays.  Easier even than for those engaging in demonstrations of  dungeon techniques for an audience, since we have only to create the experience for ourselves and not be concerned with the communication of  the experience.

Starting with the conclusion and working backwards we know that we want the submissive to achieve her earth-shattering orgasm.  She may wish it to occur within a particular  physical and psychological context, such as betrayal by her loved one at the height of her physical pain.  Thus the scene will end with her partner passionately embracing another woman just about the time she reaches the limit of her tolerance for the flogging.  The flogger then, will be going for overload and stress, rather than an endorphin high.  The position assumed for the flogging will also be such that the subject will be able to get herself off.  A rolled towel between her legs, perhaps enhanced with the insertion of a butt plug,  can provide sufficient stimulation, if she has freedom to wriggle.

Now we come to the “why” of the story.  How has she ended up in this predicament in the first place?  If her story tells that she came blindfolded, naked under her dress, the toy already filling her bottom, then that is how the evening should start.   But we still don’t know  the “why” of it.  Perhaps she has been a silly, frivolous girl, always whining for more, unappreciative of what she already has.  In order to punish her she has been brought to the dungeon where her humiliation will be witnessed by amused strangers.  Now we have the key to the rest of the scene.  There must be an entrance, an air of formality and inevitability about the proceedings.  In the spirit of consensual non-consensuality  she must be able to believe that she has no choice other than to go along with what is to be done to her, and to create the necessary level of excitement, she must be afraid of what is going to happen.  Her expectation that she will be taken beyond her limits must be fulfilled, although it is important to point out here that we are talking about perceived limits, not real limits, for it is in the unexplored territory between where the true essence of dungeon play is found.  To go beyond a real limit is senseless brutality and does nothing but damage both the top and the bottom physically, mentally or both.

With the broad structure in place there are many details of costuming, props, narrative and environment that support that structure.  Next we will get into the details that work on the human psyche to develop and enhance fantasy.  Think about all the ways that folk have devised to ritualize their lives from the Goth scene to conservative Catholicism.

Until the next time,

May all your black clothes make it back from the cleaners,

SB.

Reprinted with permission from Wasteland.Com

[See post to watch Flash video]

[See post to watch Flash video]

Create your players’ looks, from hair, eye color, makeup, tats and body art to full scale leather gear, restraints and other elements needed to play the game and experience it on a painfully realistic level. How big a strap should they wear? How tight should the harness be? Play here and you are in control of our dungeons!

Check out Wasteland 3D Today, it’s free!

Vicky’s next goal?  To reach 1,000,000 followers.

In honor of Vicky’s accomplishments, we asked Wasteland.com, if we could publish the some photos they took of her way back in 2001.  Enjoy!

[Show as slideshow]

Description (reproduced with permission):

The cold blackness haunted her senses. Her pale skin trembled with every pounding beat of her heart. She tried to free herself from her restraints, but failed each time. Her captor silently taunted her from the shadows, waiting for her to crumble beneath his will. Newcomer Cheri Rose came to Wasteland to explore and push her tolerance for pain. Under the swift and heavy hand of “Him”, she will soon discover a pain she has never experienced before in – Cell 181

Alternative sexual games open new possibilities for STD infection. Most of these are caused by viruses and are easy to catch if you allow them to enter a body opening (sex organ, mouth or small wound). We will give some short descriptions here:

VIRUS INFECTIONS

Hepatitis

Is an inflammation of the liver. There are different forms (A and B are the most common), caused by a virus. Symptoms may vary from relatively harmless flu type reactions to fatal liver diseases.

Herpes

(also around in different forms) causes small fluid filled blisters. It is a virus. The blistering will not be triggered by the disease but by external factors like exposure to the sun, emotional stress or another illness or fever. The blisters may appear on and around the mouth, the genitals or other parts of the body, depending on the type. Herpes is not fatal, but may cause complications with other infections and sometimes can be painful. Herpes simplex, that may cause blisters on the mouth and/or genitals, cannot yet be cured.

Syphilis

In modern society is rare, but still around. It is caused by an organism and causes swellings on the body that will leave a scar after healing. Unrecognized syphilis will eventually ruin the vascular and nervous systems and cause death.

Genital Warts

(small swellings in and around the genitals) are caused by a virus. They may cause the development of cervix cancer and should be taken seriously. They need early and repeated treatment.

BACTERIA

Gonorrhea

Has been around for ages and still is something to watch out for. It may cause sterility (men) or inflammation of the fallopian tube (women). An infected women may pass it on to the eyes of a newborn child when the infection occurs during pregnancy.

Chlamydial and Ureaplasmal

Infections 
Are the most common group of STDs. They are likely to cause all sorts of diseases. Treatment and interruption of sexual contacts is advised. This group spreads easily and rapidly. Having dirty hands or fingernails when penetrating or dirty toys are the most common causes. 
We’ve mentioned only the most common STDs here, there are a lot more around. When in doubt, always check with your doctor. You may be embarrassed about it. This is only natural and the doctor will understand this. Remember, it may the first time you are confronted with STDs, but the doctor has seen it all before. Not seeing the doctor in almost all cases leads to trouble. Most of the STDs will not go away by themselves and some are nasty and persistent. 


Be aware that some bdsm techniques can also be responsible for transmitting STDs 


Unprotected Toys 
Are the most common transmitter of bacteria and are likely to cause one of the infections mentioned above. Even if it has just been laying around for awhile it may have picked up bacteria. When you penetrate, always use a condom – and don’t forget your wonderful penis-shaped whip grip.

Bondage Ropes

When used in the genital area, are another possible transmitter of disease. The general advice is to wash your ropes regularly, disinfect them and reserve marked ropes for these areas. When just hanging on the wall and not being used for some time germs and bacteria may find a nice nest inside your bondage ropes. (Guess you’ll just have to use them more!)

Nipple Clamps

Are another well known toy often used in this (genital) area. Again regularly clean and disinfect them.

Leather

Is a living material and germs and bacteria will nest in it, especially if these toys have not been used for some time.

Whipping

One thing you should be aware of is that whipping causes the small veins in the skin to open up and send blood to the whipped area. This creates an expressway for viruses and bacteria to infiltrate the body and not only the std-related ones. You should be aware of this phenomena, especially when whipping the genital area. Extra attention to hygiene and regular cleaning and disinfecting of whips is required.

First Aid Kit

This entire safe sex section may scare you a bit. There’s no need for that, but it’s always advisable to be aware of possible risks and to take precautions when necessary. This goes for having a first aid kit around as well. Mishaps always occur. Most any general first aid kit will do, with two extras: first of all a pair of bandage scissors. These will enable you to quickly and safely cut ropes and even leather straps when you need to. Bandage scissors are designed to avoid harming your partner unintentionally. Next to this it’s handy to have freeze spray (or cold spray) around for muscle treatment (makes a wonderful toy as well).

Erotic power exchange can take any shape or form within a relationship between a man and a woman. From little things like blindfolding her when making love to anything like 24 hours a day, 7 days a week dedication or branding.

The shape and form it takes totally depends upon the fantasies, situation and boundaries of the partners involved. As long as it is informed consensual, safe, sane and voluntary it is called erotic power exchange. If any or all of these four elements are missing, it is called abuse.

Next, erotic power exchange requires a specific environment. Call it a biosphere, if you like. What it requires is a very sound, honest and sincere relationship, intense and open communication, trust, a lot of mutual understanding, an open mind, lots of love and care and a fair bit of creativity.

People will often ask: what’s wrong with straight sex? Why add things like power exchange. Well, there’s nothing wrong with straight sex. But there are people that want more out of their relationship. Maybe even more out of life. Those are the people that will identify the power element, that exists in every relationship, and start to work with it, play with it, explore and experiment. We all have to deal with political power for example, but not all of us become politicians or even take an interest in politics.

Giving away power to your partner can be an immense erotic sensation. Being tied up, relatively helpless and being launched by your partner into your own fantasies and dreams – some submissives call that sub space – can be thrilling, relaxing and revealing at the same time. Pain, tickling and all sorts of other impulses – when administered with care and skill – can pump up your endorphins, giving you the same sensation sports people will sometimes feel. On the other hand, the dominant partner will feel the adrenaline flow freely through his body, giving him a very powerful feeling and very intense and caring emotion at the same time. No, the people that do it don’t need it to have an orgasm, but yes, they do need the power element to be present and used in their relationship.

An umbrella for lots of different things

Erotic power exchange is a very individual, personal experience. That is why it is very hard to describe what it is exactly. The only element all these people have in common is the fact that they are fascinated by the power element. What they do, how they do it and why may be completely different things.

Erotic power exchange is an umbrella argument. One couple may fill it in as tying her up in bed, another may be fascinated by the idea of a “strange” man walking into the bedroom capturing her and a third may have a relationship where she serves him in any aspect. Erotic power exchange is like golf: it is highly individual, you are the master of your own game and you are also your own referee.

It is entirely about what you want to do. You do not have to copy others. You do not even have to agree with what others do. It is your game, your thoughts, your fantasies. It is what you and your partner share. It is being able to explore the borders of your mind and imagination in a very safe environment.

To many people erotic power exchange is not just about sex, but a lifestyle. Most people that do it will recognize it as something very personal, something very much belonging to themselves. To many it is a way to express themselves.

You have to watch this trailer, it’s at the very end.